Somehow I find my deepest clarity among complete chaos.
I did my fifth huge thrift store dropoff today...after 2 huge yardsales, and yet I still walk in the house and can’t believe how much stuff is still everywhere.
I don’t want to live surrounded by these many things anymore. Shedding so many objects has been both liberating and overwhelming and I have set an intention that I will be so much more conscious of how much clutter I allow into my daily living.
Would I be doing this much purging without an external circumstance forcing it out of me? No way. It’s taking a HUGE transition to force this kind of self reflection and actual change.
Let me back up a little bit.
Two years ago, my husband and I decided to move back to our tiny mountain hometown of Quincy, Ca. My parents, his mom, stepdad, grandparents, aunt and cousin all lived within a half hour of our house and we thought we would be settling down “for good” after 6 years of traveling and bouncing around to different locations.
I thought we were ready to grow roots, that we might be happy in a quiet little town surrounded by family at this time in our lives.
Quincy has tested us more than I ever imagined it would. After spending 13 years as a chef in prestigious positions in the Bay Area, Hawaii, Alaska and Big Sur, Cj had dreams of moving back home and opening up his own restaurant. We were told over and over how there were so few options in town and that people would love to see more variety. So he found a business partner and went for it.
It was a huge learning experience and he has no regrets, but along with that came a lot of heartbreak and frustration. People loved the food, but not the location, or the ambience, or the servers, or the prices, or the…. He kept his head held high and powered into for a year, without ever bringing home a paycheck, yet financially couldn’t keep the place open. Friendships were lost, relationships with the business partner went sour, rumors were spread and our family went through extreme financial hardship.
We had moved into my husband’s childhood home (his parents had been living half-time in Maui and had us move in until they decided if they wanted to live in Hawaii full time or not). We moved into their fully furnished house with all of their belongings, all his childhood pictures and a lot of random knick knacks. I am grateful beyond words of the opportunity to live in this house at a small cost and do not know what we would have done without their help.
I am not the best organizer. I do not devote much time of my life to cleaning, decluttering, laundry, vacuuming or dishes. Honestly I am not a very good “housewife” at all. I didn’t know what to do with all of their belongings + our belongings and just let things clutter on top of each other. We moved some stuff to a storage unit, not knowing if they wanted to keep their things or not. Honestly I didn’t realize until now how much I felt weighed down by the number of objects in my daily living space and how that affected my husband’s and my relationship as well. He was used to this house being clean and spotless (as it always was for him growing up) and he did a better job at the upkeep than I did. I felt like I spent much of my day picking up Adelyn’s toys, doing dishes, starting laundry that I never put away and starting other projects that I half-assed and didn't make much progress on. I was constantly being crowded out by my ever long to-do list around the house (along with working a job here, teaching workout classes, yoga classes and launching my online businesses).
As of right now, I am in a place that would probably make most people in my current situation unsettled and fearful.
I am almost 6 months pregnant, have a 3.5 year old and am uprooting our entire family to a tiny isolated island in the middle of the Pacific. It’s basically the opposite of the nesting instinct that most mom’s get while they’re pregnant.
My husband scored an awesome job on Kauai and had to leave for the job 3 weeks after being offered the position. While he has found us a temporary studio to live in, we have no idea what our living situation will be once the baby comes, will not be taking any of our furniture, and will be sharing one vehicle (thanks to his job who helped us ship the car, buy plane tickets and pay for a month of rent). We have friends on the island (we lived there years ago), but no immediate family to help our soon to be growing family. There are so many unknowns. Meanwhile, I am left with clearing out an entire family home’s worth of things (not complaining, I am so grateful for having the opportunity to live here and am able to keep the money from selling his parent’s furniture). I just hadn’t realized until going through this process how toxic it can be to have so many physical items clogging up my life. And while I may have been inspired by the idea of minimalism and the people that I follow that talk about how liberating it can be, I don’t think I would have actually taken action on detoxing my life from all this clutter unless I had to.
The first time I went through my daughter’s room and got rid of the all the toys she didn’t play with on a regular basis, she came home later and said “ Wow mom, who cleaned my room? There’s so much space, I love it!”. It’s intrinsic for us as humans to be happy with less, and it is so easy to overstimulate our kids with more and more flashy toys, more and more presents and stuffed animals galore.
Instead of being afraid and fearful (although those moments do come), I feel incredibly liberated by the possibilities that this transition is opening up for us.
I am happy to let go of belongings and have a fresh start where I can be very intentional with what I bring into my home. I will actually be okay with living in a smaller home (bigger means more cleaning and upkeep). I am excited to harness the power of mother Kauai to grow my online coaching business, write more and reveal more of my vulnerabilities.
All I my recent revelations on how toxic physical items can be in our life led me to think about what other toxins I allow into my lifestyle. Upon reflection, I realized that most of my life, I have not been able to rid myself of toxic relationships, habits, thoughts or foods without help from external forces. This inspired me to create a short course on taking that first step to cut toxic elements out of our life.
If you feel like your life is cluttered with toxic thoughts, habits, patterns and relationships, then I am offering this course to get you back in the driver’s seat of your life!
*Mastermind is currently closed
From Chaos to Clarity Mastermind: Detox your body, thoughts and relationships
A 3 week program where we’ll dive deep into how to cut ties with toxic elements of your life and uncover your dormant power.
What this includes:
A private mastermind facebook group
Weekly live trainings with Coral with journal prompts, meditations and specific tools to clear toxic clutter from your life
2 group Q&A sessions so we can focus on what is most toxic to your life right now
Weekly yoga class
Week 1: Toxic food/products and habits: how to train your mind to want to nourish your body, awareness of what foods and topical products introduce toxins into our body, how to curb toxic habits
Week 2: Toxic thoughts and clutter: how to pivot away from negative thoughts and stuck feelings, how clearing clutter from our life liberates our lifestyle
Week 3: Toxic relationships: with self, romantic partners, friendships and family
All for $47!!
The program begins 6/27
If this is a screaming yes for you, sign up here! I am hoping for this program to be the catalyst for BIG change in your life (for a small investment!)