I'm addicted to my phone...

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I am addicted to my phone.

The first thing I do when I sit down to breastfeed my son is look to grab my phone.

Oh yay, a chance to mindlessly scroll Instagram? Is that really what I need? Maybe what I need instead is a chance to just be.

Sometimes my daughter has to ask me something four times because I have to finish commenting on something before I can pay attention to her.

I’m not saying having vast information and wonders of technology at our fingertips is bad. Our ability to access so much information is really incredible.

But I know I’m addicted, and I wonder how to teach my kids not to be dependent on their devices, especially when I know how hard it is for me, and I grew up without the internet. 

I know that this is something I don’t like in myself because I get triggered by it. When my husband is on his phone and not hearing our daughter speak (even though I do it too), when I see other people so plugged in they are oblivious to their surroundings, when I see that teenagers glued to their screens.

Yes, there’s times we need to focus and our kids don’t need out attention at the drop of our hat, but I’m having a hard time with balance.

I couldn’t even tell you what I get out of it most of the time. I head into my device with a specific intention and then get lost in its claws.

One of the only times my 4 yr old throws fits is when she has to stop watching “the app” (our ipad). I get so frustrated at her for acting out, but I really know it’s that addictive pull of technology.

And then I listen to podcasts about harmful effects of device radiation, wifi, Bluetooth, etc on babies, and my guilt grows.

I don’t know how to tackle this problem exactly, but for now I’m taking baby steps. I purposely sit down to breastfeed without my phone nearby. I turn my phone off at night and I don't grab it first thing in the morning.

Do you relate? Send me an email at coral@coraldunbar.com and let me know what you think...